Kerala is rightfully one of the 10 best destinations of the millennium. During the monsoon of 2000, we headed for Kerala on an impulse. Originally, the plan was to go to Himachal Pradesh, which is a dream come true for campers and hikers. But impulse is fun, like life on the edge in a mini version. We took the Konkan railway, which has nothing less than 200 misty waterfalls, endless coastlines and 100s of noisy tunnels. I suggest earmuffs for the journey. Interesting food! Sam, Sonali, Kashyap the hubby and little me reached Ernakulam at 4.00 in the morning and shacked in a nearby hotel. The dawn saw us at the coast of Cochin, gorging on idlis and malagapuddi. Ernakulum is a twin city of Cochin. Alleppey, of the Dil Se fame has exotic backwaters. We went in a small ferry paddling through the Venice of the East, through rope-makers, white birds, small bridges, rice fields, dead cats and curious people. I wonder if the curious people killed the cat. Villagers were staring at us, trying to decide on our species. Later, we had a 35-rupee local meal that consists of rice, sambar, rasam, aveeal, pysum, and tair on a long banana leaf, in a five star hotel at Ernakulum. They serve you hot water, which is absolutely great for your stomach. After the meal, we took a luxury boat around Cochin City. We saw the Dutch palace, some exotic fishing nets, some cute Jews at the synagogue etc. Man, our country has been invaded by every Ching, Dick and Scary! In the evening we went walking around the city and culminated it by watching the worst Nick Nolte movie ‘Gone in sixty seconds’. I fell asleep in 60 seconds and was gone through the rest of the flick. Next day we took off to Thekkady, the wild, wild country, which is on the border of Tamil Nadu some 7 hours from Ernakulum by bus. We had food at Kumidy and went up to Thekkadi, which is an absolute animal country. You are not even allowed to walk around alone. The boat ride through the jungle on both sides had wild boars, tigers, elephants, sambars, deers, pelicans and some ants I’m sure. I felt like TinTin or one those guys at the National Geographic or Discovery. We had the option to sleep in a machang that is a watch tower in the middle of the forest. But mosquitoes literally give me sleepless nights. Sam, being more Canadian in his approach, went for elephant rides. As for me we have road jams in Mumbai because of some elephant every 18th day. A night and some exotic food at the Periyar lodge, later we went down by the bus through tea and rubber plantations to Kottayam, took a train and went back to Ernakulum, our first crush. Actually Kerala has seaside on one end and the hills on the other and the hills are generally alive with the sound of music. But wait a minute! What had I come to Kerala for? I wanted to sleep in a clean river and drink coconut milk. So quickly we took a second look at Ernakulum. St. Francis Church, Dutch palace and dipping in a local well (it was getting hot as hell). In the evening we headed to Malayatoor, where the Periyar river starts. We got down at Aluva went to Kaldi ate some Punjabi food. Went up to Malayatoor. Periyar is the widest, clearest, sexiest and longest river in Kerala. In the next 3 days we dipped in the river for 6 hours, stayed by a lake hotel, where we were the only residents for 2 nights, on the last nights some drinking party was held in the adjacent room. We climbed up a old church 8 kms up at 65 degrees to reach a 300 year old church of St. Thomas. St Thomas happens to be one of the apostles sent by Christ and reached Kerala in 0072 AD and thus Keralite Catholics are the original Syrian Catholics. The Mangoloreans and the Goans were converted by the British or the Portuguese like their East Indian brothers. The old church is called Ana-something -or-the-other which means “The church hit by a wild elephant”. On a wall you can clearly see an impression of a wild elephant. We also visited the Adi Sankara Charya temple. ASC is the 13th incarnation of Shiv. The 12th was Hanuman. The 11th is Surya. This information was giving to us by Surya (not the sun god) but an educated guide, who is a retired bank officer, absolutely free-of-cost. ASC was born in the compound, the only son to a lady who was widowed when Adi was 4 years old. At 6 when he had decided to lead a life of an ascetic, he told Bramha the creator to come in the form of a crocodile and hold on to his leg in the Periyar to obtain the permission from his mother to renounce the world. Luckily this happened 1200 years ago and there are no crocs in the Periyar anymore. We also saw an elephant-training centre on the other side of the Periyar, (Periyavoor) where cute little elephants took their bath. Well Kerala isn’t God’s own country for nothing.